The First Accusation

So a few days after the April 29th gig @ Jack's I sent the singer a new copy of the logo with my company mark. I purposely made the mark small and unobtrusive. The reason I did that was 1. I felt that her and I had come to an agreement and that I didn't need to splash it all over the logo, and 2. This wasn't about advertising my company or work. Given my druthers my work would just be taken off that piss poor excuse of a website, it's the only thing on the site that looks decent or professional and I've mentioned before... I don't like that it gives people the impression I'm responsible for that p.o.s site. 


This is the email I sent her:

Hey ,

Here’s a  logo for the website/facebook etc.   It’s re-sizeable it’s intentionally over-big so it can be used in a multitude of applications without losing its quality of resolution.

If you want to give me the login for the website I’d be happy to go in and replace it, make it the correct size etc.  Enjoy J

-k

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Here is her reply:


Hey Krys ~ thank you very much for this.  I am glad that this is behind us, and I do appreciate you fixing it for me.
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So all good right?  HA!


Here's the next email I got from her:
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Hey Krys,

In order to put this behind us.. I need you to give me full disclosure.

I really appreciate the help on the logo, but I need to know if you are still harboring issues that will continue to manifest.

Also, I am going to ask you this one time.  Were you the one requesting a private party from [names deleted to protect privacy.]

I know you were very upset with me, and you may have lashed out with multiple emails from these people.  If you come clean with me, I will wipe the slate clean and move on.. I am going to continue to investigate these people.. They are no where listed in the United States.

Please, be honest with me.
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Whaaa? Now, I knew about the private party, and knew they had tried to make contact with her regarding it.  I know this because apparently after she failed to follow-up with [person] he got my email from a mutual friend (his best friend is one of my clients)  He had sent me an email the same freaking day she gave me her bullshit about she felt it was her logo and hers to use as she pleased and that I should feel free to escalate it to a legal issue if I must --  I was flaming mad that day and I STILL did not bash that bitch.  I sent him the information he requested, sent a couple of demo songs, and apologized profusely that she had dropped the ball and finished by saying they were the perfect band for a party.  I could have told him to forget it, they weren't worth it, etc.. but I have some things called class and integrity. That was the extent of my involvement.  I was so stunned that I sat here looking at the screen for a good 5 minutes with my mouth agape.
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Here is my FIRST reply to her about it. 

Hey singer,

No.  I have nothing to do with this party or these people.  I was also contacted by [person] via one of my clients.  When I was bidding a job I used screen shots of the original LMB site as part of my portfolio so my client knew I used to be the web designer and we were friends.    [persons friend] gave him my email and [person] emailed asking if I’d be able to provide some demo songs and any other information I had on the band.   I sent 3 songs (Ready to Go, We are Family, and  RU gonna be my girl, its an LMO recording but I thought it would be good for him to have something with [male singer]  I gave the band lineup, and mentioned that [bass player] and [drummer] were also members of [another local band] in case he was familiar with them.  I apologized to him that it had taken so long to get the info he was looking for, that I was sure it was an accidentally dropped ball, and that LMB was a great band, and the perfect band for a party.  The next day he sent another thanking me for the songs and quick reply.   That’s the full extent of my involvement.  I’d be happy to fwd the emails to you.

Yes, I was very upset with you, and I still believe there are things I need to address but in the big picture of things, with everything else I have going on it wasn’t worth the emotional toll to me to go to battle.   Whether or not you are aware of it I’ve been feeling hurt and brushed aside for a long time.   I kept my mouth shut about my feelings and pushed it aside until I just couldn’t anymore, but I would take direct action instead of doing something juvenile and sneaky.

As far as not being able to find them, I don’t know what to tell you.  I can ask my client if you want.

Krys

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She did not reply.  I stewed on all of this some more and sent her another reply the next day. here it is:

Singer,

I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I just gotta say that I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this.   Yesterday I was shocked, today I’m just pissed.   I don’t know where this is coming from.  If you are having a hard time in your own life, or if you thought I was so out of line about the logo thing, or maybe you feel a little guilty for how you treated me about it?

However you justify the accusation is up to you, but you need to realize that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt the band, regardless of my own hurt feelings.

I’m not sure if you even know why I’m so upset in general.   I attempted to tell you last year, but instead of an apology or sincere reply that would have made me feel better about the state of our friendship you told me to not read too much into it that  everything “was about singer right now”

Did you know that the only time you initiate contact with me is when you want/need something, or to come down on me about something?   Last year it was the virus I had in my email that sent msgs to boeing contacts, and now it’s this.  Please don’t come back with I never initiate contact either, you’re right, I don’t anymore.  After several tries were flat out ignored and then my email last year, where I poured my heart out, laid it all on the line was met with ‘it’s all about singer’  I gave up.

The reply I got to my first note about the logo..    you played the friend card, saying you were my friend, not my enemy, so sure you aren’t my enemy and I don’t consider you one, but you haven’t been a very good friend either.  Then you tried to say you paid for my services.   Exactly when did that happen?  This was  never about money, but since you brought it up let’s address that.  In the years I designed, and maintained the website, produced flyers, promo packs, business cards, took pics and edited them.  Which is hundreds of hours of work I received from you a $100 gift card to Fashion Bug for my birthday one year, and a year or so later you purchased a 50 dollar program for me, that when John asked me what I’d want, and I asked what it was for he said just a general thank you gift I guess.   The only other money that may have changed hands was reimbursement for business cards ordered.   In one sentence you said you always thought I did amazing work, in the next sentence you basically said that all that work was worth $150 bucks to you.   If I’d known those gifts were payment, I would have issued you an invoice for the actual cost of my services and taken a check instead. $150 bucks doesn’t cover a service/maintenance contract with my clients for a year.   Not to mention all the other services, and the fact that we hosted the website for years.   When I started doing the website it was a win for everyone involved as far as I was concerned.  I was able to advertise my work, and support John’s band to the best of my ability beyond being the adoring wife at shows.  The band got a fantastic free website, photography, custom logo, and free web hosting among other things.   Then John quit the band and I was promptly fired from my own website.   It would be one thing if the site that replaced it was better, or at least equal to it, but its not it’s awful which just pours more salt into my wounds, and that is never helped by random emails from people telling me how bad the site is.  

So yes, I’m upset.  I think I’m fully justified in being so.  :’(

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Of course she didn't reply to that either.  So on Saturday of that week I logged onto my Facebook account and noticed that she had removed me from her friends list.  ....and that is how we got to me using www.loudmouthblonde.com as my personal website.  When the brouhaha first happened about the logo use I ran a whois report on the domain name. Lo and behold, I was still the registered/legal owner of the domain.  It was registered to my company.  I contacted godaddy and I asked how do I regain control of that domain and they said I would need to send them a photo of my I.D. and my Business License.  So I applied for my business license and filed that info away.  I thought we had worked things out somewhat and so I decided to not take control of the domain back over, until the day I found that I was unfriended on Facebook.  When I noticed it I was sort of like oh jezus christ, what an immature move and rolled my eyes.  A half hour later I went and got my mail and guess what came that day??  My Business License! Hahahahahahahahaha. I then photographed the business license and my drivers license and emailed it to godaddy and they transferred the domain to my account immediately.  I then took her website down.  Monday the next week I sent her the following email:

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This is to inform you that www.loudmouthblonde.com  has been removed as a live website and will not be restored.  Have a nice day.

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Here is her reply, and she copied it to my husband. 

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Whatever Krys ~ if this is all it takes to get you out of my life, it works for me.. 

Real winner there John.. I would hurry with that divorce

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I wasn't surprised by the snarky reply. In fact I even laughed at it.  What I found to be the most amusing part was that she copied the hubby on it.  It was almost like she was trying to tattle on me or something, like he didn't know what was going on LOL. 


By this time I had written her off and was kicking myself in the ass for making an agreement that allowed her continued use of the logo.  I do truly wish I could say this is the end of the saga..   


but I can't.