Introduction

I'm generally not one to keep journals, blogs, etc.  Some things in the last few months in life have left me feeling rather.. worn out, and I'm hoping to use this as a vehicle to make my side known.

In 2006 I started a website for my husband's new band, called LoudMouth Blonde.  I'd been dabbling in web design for a few years, and had already done a website for another band he was in.  This was my way of supporting my husband. I could be the adoring wife cheering him on at gigs, but I could do more and the website was part of that.

I created a custom logo, a fantastic website, I photographed almost every gig and spent hours editing and posting those pictures to the website, I created the band bios, promo pack, made all their flyers, maintained the schedule and website in general. We also hosted the website ourselves and paid the yearly fee for domain renewal.  This was literally hundreds and hundreds of hours of work for FREE.  To me it was a win-win situation.  The band got a really nice professional website, that was head and shoulders above the average cover band site, I was able to support my husbands music, and my company got some free advertising.

The singer, who also considers herself the "Owner" of the band, and let me tell ya something folks..  I grew up in this business. My parents were professional musicians, and they handled every ounce of band business.  There isn't an "owner" of a band.  One person may be able to lay claim on the name of a band..  but even that can be up for debate, but a band is several people basically working together as freelance contractors.  The hubby and me did a large majority of the work behind this band, the singer did do the booking but anything web or gear related was delegated to me and my husband.

Fast Forward to July 2009.  Hubby decides to leave the band.  It had been a tough year for both of us, our Dads passed away within 3 weeks of each other, work was beyond stressful, being in more than one band was stressful, and he just wasn't having fun anymore.  I remember like it was yesterday our drive to what was supposed to be his last gig with the band. (He wound up playing several more because she struggled to find a new bass player). I was extremely upset, over the 3 years I'd been involved with this band I had become close to several people, including the singer and really did consider her one of my best friends.  Yes, of course I was upset he was leaving the band, but it was a decision I fully supported. I was upset that night because I felt that with him leaving the band all those people who I'd become 'friends' with would no longer really give me the time of day.  Hubby told me.  "These people are not your friends" He was right..  they were all pretty much acquaintances that I saw at gigs.  I told him that I did know that, but my concern was the singer.  He told me well that's different, you two are real friends, don't worry about it.   At the end of that night I talked to the singer, was very upfront about how I was feeling, and she assured me ohhh honey it's not like that at all, blah blah blah.  Then I told her, and hey..  I'll still do the website and whatever else you need, I'm totally happy to do that.

Oh..  I was going to have someone else do that.

Say what?  (As I felt punched in the stomach)

Just like that..  I basically got fired from my own website.

Hubby thought maybe it was because he had told her he didn't want the responsibility of hosting it anymore, and she didn't understand that her hosting it somewhere else didn't mean I couldn't continue but we never really did get a good reason.  I was pissed. I went home that night and took the website down, removed all my content from the web, logos, photos, etc.  If they were going to have someone else do the website, fine, but they weren't going to use my work to do it with.

A couple of weeks later I was asked if they could use the logo I'd designed on the website. I begrudgingly agreed on the condition that I was credited for it.  I agreed because I was still under the impression that this singer was my friend.  New website goes up, my logo is being used, and no where am I credited for it.  The new website was/is a joke. No band bios, no demo songs, actually there is _nothing_ about the band. Not a general bio, even the band members aren't listed.  There is a non working link for Media, that we are now 2+ years since the new site went up that has never been done.  The one photo is a cropped picture of the singer, that looks very weird because the process of airbrushing the rest of the band out she looks like she's standing with her arm weirdly up in a weird position.  The picture is also at least 3 years old.. if not older.

After he left the band and I was 'fired' suddenly..  I couldn't get in touch with the singer. Texts went ignored, phone calls/voicemails went ignored, emails went ignored. I had been starting to feel like she was mad at me or something. Then I saw her in Feb 2010 and it was all cupcakes and roses, all smiles and oh it's so great to see you.  She'd come to a gig for the 'brother' band to loudmouth blonde, and hubby was playing with them that night.  In March 2010 hubby and I split, it was for the better, and we're closer now than we were before.  He moved to Germany that month, it was devastating for both of us, after being together for so long it was a big change.  He dropped the singer an email, in a nutshell it was him asking her to check in on me now and then and just make sure I was ok.  She never replied, and I certainly never heard from her, even though several more attempts had been made to reach her via text/email.  I saw her again in April 2010 when I went to a gig, again..  all smiles, miss you, cupcakes and roses..   At that time I was preparing for major surgery that had been in the works for a few years.  We talked about it that night..    The night before the surgery I was pretty scared, I called her, left a message..  she never called back, she never even dropped me an email to ask how it went or how I was.  While in the hospital recovering from this surgery I did actually get an email from her, not asking how I was, but to bitch me out about something.  I'd managed to get an email worm in my hotmail account, and since it was attached to my outlook it had sent out some random email to everyone on my contact list. Now, obviously this wasn't intentional, and anyone with half a brain could tell it was a nonesense/viral email.  Her note to me was scolding me for sending email to all the unnamed company contacts and I know she can get in trouble for that, blah blah blah.  Welllll  I replied telling her..  look it was a virus, I had no control over it, and you know me better than that and know I wouldn't send email to all those people knowing it would get you in trouble, I don't appreciate the tone you took etc etc.  I did get a half assed apology for that.

After a few more ignored attempts to talk to her I decided ok.. I'm putting my cards on the table. I sent her an email, reminding her of our conversation that night back in 2009, told her that I was hurt, and she had assured me our friendship wasn't based on what I could/did do for her blah blah.  I knew she was busy but we were supposed to be friends.   The reply I got.  "Oh well don't read too much into it, everything is all about [insert un-named singer here] right now."

That's when I gave up.  I saw her again Halloween 2010 at another gig I attended, again.. cupcakes and roses blah blah blah, but by that time I knew what the truth was, and knew that she was fake, had her circle of friends and I wasn't in it.  I also knew that the only time me or the hubby were contacted is when she needed/wanted something.

In early 2011 after receiving another random e-mail from someone I don't know about just how bad the 'new' website was I emailed the singer and told her what parts of the site needed to be fixed, and that overall it was a poor  website and with my custom graphic on it people were assuming I was to blame for the site.  She told sent a curt reply stating she's engaged a new web designer and it would be fixed.

Was it fixed?  of course it wasn't fixed.

April 19, 2011 - I emailed her.  In the email I said I no longer wanted that graphic on the website or used by the band.  That my original conditions were never met,etc.

Yep.. and that's when all hell broke loose.